Family Court

For the first time in my life, I have had first hand experience with our family court system...most of us have nowdays in some form. Nearly two weeks ago, I appeared telephonically, due to distance, in court to witness my marriage being dissolved. This was an experience that crushed me and left me heartsick, not only for my husband but also for families in the United States that are daily subjected to the same kind of treatment that I experienced, perhaps even worse, especially when children are involved. I don't want to go into bitter details, I just want to share with you my experience and pray you never have to go through it for yourself.

In an article I read titled "Divorced from Reality," Stephen Baskerville makes the following points. I have summarized a few of them that struck me. "The decline of the family has become a dangerous epidemic and major source of social instability today." I personally run into its effects on a daily basis, in the classroom, at the grocery store, etc... "For a little over thirty years now, the government has had the power to disolve a marriage over the objection of one spouse, an act known as unilateral, or no-fault, divorce." 80 percent of divorces today are unilateral, according to Frank Furstenberg and Andrew Cherlin in Divided Families. "Divorce dissolves a private household and subjects citizens to state rule and authority. Police and jails enforce the divorce and the post-marriage order."

My marriage was happy, never perfect, but always happy. My husband and I met at an early age and fell in love. We married and in service to one another became advocates for marriage and families for the near decade that we were together. Our marriage ended abruptly and with little closure, the pain for me came with a breakdown in communication and witnessing my husband turn against me in a chosen effort to walk away. I wanted to reconcile, he wanted out. Our marriage ended.

I will always love and pray for my ex-husband, a legal term I must now become comfortable with using, and possess memories with him. Nothing could change that, even if all of the memorabilia from our relationship was burned. I have been advised to move on, and I have, otherwise the pain would consume me; it is a slow process and takes time. Although my life again will be filled with happiness, I forever bear the wound of a pain worse than the death of a loved one. During our court hearing, the judge spoke routine and disturbing words to us. He said, "I hope you two will be able to put the past behind you. I wish you luck in the future. Thanks for calling in (somehow my husband was given permission to not be present!)." I found his words and treatment of us heartless and the very behavior of the judge, for lack of a better word, flaky.

In Matthew 19:6 it says, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must never separate" (NIV). May we not forget that the marriage relationship was designed to be a symbol of the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church. God's love for us is everlasting and never changes, just as the symbolic ring has no ending. If you are considering separation or divorce, please reconsider. You have made a marriage vow before God and this is a covenant. Don't let our family court system tell you otherwise! Stick together, work out your issues together. Wives, respect your husbands and husbands, love your wives as you have been called to do, and you WILL be blessed (Eph. 5:22-33). Most importantly, pray for each other and never give up!

If you are struggling in your marriage, don't worry, you're not the first! Seek the help of a biblical counselor (to find a biblical counseling center, just google "biblical counseling" and include your city and state). Seeking the help of a third party is never a shameful thing, it is what we are called to do in scripture if there is an issue that cannot be worked out between two. Also, check out retrouvaille at http://www.retrouvaille.org/. It is a program designed to help you rediscover your marriage! Marriage is tough, let God heal yours today, just stick together!

One day at a time. His grace...His pace!

Winter Break!

Picture of the Amaryllis a student got for me, which bloomed on my birthday!

Today begins a short winter break for the teachers at Lansing Christian! Praise God! I am told that from now until Spring Break (which is the first week in April) can be very long because we don't receive any breaks throughout the 3rd marking period, at the end of March. Today I am spending getting some errands done, doctors appointments, etc... in preparation. This evening I will go to visit my Grandma G. because her birthday was Wednesday.

It's been such an eventful start to the year. School is nearly in full gear with concert season fast approaching. In the high school, we just had auditions for the Spring musical Beauty and the Beast last night, we have a great cast picked out, which is such a blessing! In the middle school, 7/8 grade is preparing to go to festival, all 88 of them! In sixth grade we are building our song repertoire (the girls LOVE to sing!). In fifth grade we are preparing the musical play 13 Colonies to be performed March 24th. And in fourth grade, we just finished our Recorder Karate kickoff and students are practicing away to see who can obtain the desired black belt first; we hope to have an in-class concert at the end of March opened to parents only. In addition, the weather here in Michigan has begun to warm, although we don't expect Spring for a good while. Other items of praise: my birthday was really nice and I enjoyed all of the lovely cards, flowers and gifts from friends and family...Thank you! Also, there are a couple family members who are pregnant. This is the greatest item of praise and also prayer!

The truth remains: "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord." A new chapter has turned in my life, and I don't know what it contains. I am really clinging to Romans 12:12, "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer." Our God is a great God, His mercies are new everyday and His love endures forever! Call anytime, or write, I'd love to hear from you!

You were made for God!

It's been a while since I've really written, yet often it takes reading the works of another writer to inspire. :) I just read an interview of Rick Warren and wanted to share with you several points that struck me; I hope they encourage you. First of all, "We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense." Once you realize that it's all about God and not about you, peace flows in. I have had moments where I give in to doubt and despair one minute, then the next a lightbulb comes on (aka obedience to God) and I am reminded of the love God has for me. When you seek Him with your whole heart, it gives your life purpose. Oh, beloved brother, dear sister, wandering sheep, return to Him and seek His rest. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Today if you are doubting His unfailing love for you, read I John 4 and Romans 8. God is love and His steadfast love endures for ever!

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.