The Pitcher

I guess sometimes I want to write but cannot so I read other's blogs. This story is amazing! It's a testimony of a woman who was lost and searching and met with her Savior! She intertwines her life story with a therapeutic activity she engaged in: the breaking of a piece of pottery and then putting the pieces back together again!

I hope you enjoy it!

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

Plan B

A friend of mine shared these thoughts with me from the blog of another sister in Christ who is going through the fire. As I read her words, they felt like mine so I made them mine...

I am learning a lot lately. God is truly sharpening me, molding me. Sometimes it feels as if He is literally chipping away at my heart. It hurts. Its unwelcome. Its needed.

I am learning many things. I am learning that I have no control over my life, HUGE wake-up call! I am learning what it means to live a spirit-controlled life. I am learning that I can't change who I am...that I must follow my heart. I am learning that I must be real with myself and others, I cannot hide from my circumstance. I am learning that if I tried to bear all of my anxiety, fear and pain that I could not stand to live. I am learning that I can still be in a relationship with God and yet question why He has allowed me to walk this path. I am learning that I am happiest when I am being used by God. I am learning that I have the awesome privilege of being surrounded by amazing people who are so gracious to me, and that God remains the only consistent thing in my life. I am learning that many people I encounter daily don't have the appreciation for life that I have. The appreciation of committing to one person for life and caring for them regardless of circumstance. They just tell me to get over it and move on, but they aren't walking in my shoes. I am learning that no matter how much I try, some people just don't get it. Why I continue to hope against all odds (I guess I don't even get this). They don't get the pain that comes from that. The pain of trying to predict the future and failing miserably, knowing that the situation could lead me down two paths that are polar opposites: restoration or separation (a terrible word that turns my stomach and the knowledge that what I have always hated may be my reality, regardless of my disapproval towards it). I am learning that God is still the same today that He was the day before he allowed me to be torn away from my companion. He is still the same God that I entrusted my life to, the same God I praise.

I am learning that some days I handle my grief with grace and eloquence. Other days I fall apart at the seams. This list could go on and on but I guess my point is that God is changing me, molding me and hopefully one day I can stand on the other side of this and say, "Thank you" and "I understand." I am not there yet. Not even sure how long it will take me to get there but I know that God doesn't expect me to be there. He doesn't expect me to have it all together. That's why I said "I am learning" not that "I have learned."

Some days I do better, some days worse. But isn't that His prayer...that broken people would find Him; seek Him? And yet I think most the time we question Him. It's only natural after all. Someone always has to be at fault, right? So that leaves me asking, "Whose to blame for this? "Is it me? Is it her? Is it God? I ask myself questions every single day. It haunts me. I DON'T KNOW. But I do know that placing the blame on someone else won't bring me lasting joy. It is not my job to defend what I have done and will do. God is my judge, my defender, my all. God has a bigger purpose, a bigger reason. I rest in knowing that this is not Plan B. Plan B to us, yes, but never once was any of this a surprise to Him. He is my God and I trust Him with it all. All the ugly, yucky parts of it. But believe me when I say, I don't have it all together. I don't get up every morning and praise God. I struggle with trusting Him fully. I don't always wake up thankful for the journey I am walking...What I do is get up every morning and ask for the strength to get through the day...in one piece. I ask that He will wipe my tears and hold me close. That even though I can't be all to Him that I should be, that He will carry me. And 5 months later, He is doing just that.

If it is above your head, it is below His feet!

Friends

This song has been around for nearly twenty years, yet it's still so touching...can you hear the tune as you read the words?...

Packing up the dreams God planted

In the fertile soil of you

Can't believe the hopes He's granted

Means a chapter in your life is through

But we'll keep you close as always

It won't even seem you've gone

'Cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong

Refrain:

And friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them

And a friend will not say "never" 'cause the welcome will not end

Though it's hard to let you go, in the Father's hands we know

That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends

With the faith and love God's given

Springing from the hope we know

We will pray the joy you'll live in

Is the strength that now you show

-

A friendship in the Lord truly lasts. Think about friends of yours who have stood with you over time through thick and thin when all others dwindled away. Can you see the Lord's hand at work?!? How?

Even more amazing is the friend we have in Jesus. He sticks closer than a brother.

Abigail

Tonight I had dinner with some local friends, including a family from Mexico. The dinner was served buffet style and we were given direction to sit anywhere we pleased. I chose to sit outside because the weather was gorgeous--nice and cool with a gentle breeze. I was actually the only adult to sit outside, but after a few minutes Abigail, the four year old daughter of the family from Mexico, joined me. She was escorted outside by her mother who asked politely if Abigail could sit with me because she wanted to eat with me. I was touched and willingly agreed. After a short while of choppy conversation (me asking Abigail questions and receiving answers which completely diverted from my question) I was shocked when Abigail asked me if I knew the story of Jesus dying on the cross. After confirming my answer she asked me if I would tell her the story. When I finished, she asked me if I would read it to her from the Bible. At first, I reacted a bit annoyed because this would mean I would have to stop eating my dinner, but then I realized the privilege and joy this would be and I soon found more enjoyment in reading to her the account of Jesus' death found rather than finish my food.

Children certainly teach us many things, such as how to live without worry, speaking what's really on your mind and finding enjoyment in the little things. To Abigail, happiness wasn't about the food, it was about talking about her favorite subject, Jesus. Precious, huh!

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them,"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them. Mark 10:13-16

Pain

As one to whom feeling pain is still quite new, it is hard to write about this subject, but I hope it may bring direction or comfort to those of you who have recognized its existence in your life. Let me begin by quoting scripture, "It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I might learn thy statutes" (Psalm 119:71).

Pain is real. I know this now. I feel as though I am losing my best friend in the whole wide world. I feel lost. This is painful, the kind of painful that makes you sick...not because you have a virus or a stomach bug, but because you have been physically traumatized. For me my pain has been targeted in my heart; it aches with a constant numbness and sometimes feels as though it is scattered within me.

Pain shapes who you are and who will become. I've wanted to hide my pain or run from it at times, but I am starting to understand that it is good for me to recognize it, rather than ignore it. It's better to deal with it now and pursue my walk with the Lord than to harden myself towards it and live a defeated life. "In all these things we are more than conquerors to Him that loved us" (Romans 8:37). There is a kind of strength that comes from dealing with it, rather than shoving it to the side. I've been told, "Whatever doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger." If I'm in the pit, then I know only two things can happen: I can either give in and let go or I can be pulled up and out. I choose to go up (by God's grace).

God can do wonders with a broken heart if you give Him all the pieces. Victor Alfsen

The Patience of Faith

Patience is more than endurance. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says-- "I cannot stand anymore." God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. TRUST yourself in God's hands. For what have you need of patience just now? Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith. "Though He slay me, yet will I WAIT for Him."

FAITH is the heroic effort of your life; you fling yourself in reckless confidence on God. There are spots where that faith has not worked in us as yet, places untouched by the life of God. There were none of those spots in Jesus Christ's life, and there are to be none in ours. "This is life eternal, that they might know Thee." The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportunity for seeing marvelous things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power.

Taken from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. Amazing, hugh! This book is really a must-have. It is set up into 365 daily readings that are rich in truth. I received my first one (KJV) as a graduation gift in 2001 from Linda Egger and my second one (NIV) from my husband, Rick, before I left for New Jersey to be a camp counselor in 2002. I love both editions.

Step by Step

It's funny, I want to write so many things these days, but I just can't...I feel vulnerable enough as it is. It's been so hard to share my feelings, though they are many, they are mine and I feel safest when I keep them that way. It's so much easier to share facts. Feelings are nebulous.

Today a friend asked me how I was doing. I responded with my usual, "Fine." One sister interpreted "fine" as meaning: frustrated, irritated, narotic and exhausted. Is that what I am?

So do you want to hear facts? I have been doing a lot of running these days. I love running. I would run all day if I could. I have a few hindrances holding me back. One, I work. And, two, I have a slight injury in my "It band" (or Iliotibial Band), a muscle which is very difficult to stretch correctly (demo stretch at left). I think it will take time to heal, but it gets better with each run. I just ran in a 10K. I'm hoping to work my way up to a marathon, just for fun. We'll see, only the Lord knows.

It's quite apparent that I live step by step these days, but I've realized an amazing lesson: No matter how many steps you take backwards, it only takes one step to move you in the right direction!

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand." Psalms 37:23-24

Perseverance. Determination. Endurance. Strength. Courage. The Remedy. Hope.

National Day of Prayer

Being the first day of May, today is the annual National Day of Prayer. This years theme is America's Strength and Shield, taken from Psalm 28:7, "The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusteth in him and I am helped."

Pray with adoration:

we worship and praise an awesome God! Psalm 103:1-5.

Pray with thanksgiving:

Psa 100:4, "Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. "

Pray for an awakening:

for revival in the Church and Family.

Pray for advancement for our community and country:

Right choices made in our schools, military and media. II Timothy 2:1-2, "I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty."

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." II Corinthians 7:14

2008 Prayer for Our Nation

Dr. Ravi Zacharias

2008 Honorary Chairman, National Day of Prayer Task Force

Holy Father, in a world where so many are hungry,

You have given us food in abundance;

In a world where so many are hurting,

You offer to bind up our wounds;

In a world where so many are lonely,

You offer friendship to every heart;

In a world longing for peace,

You offer hope.

Yet, we are so stubborn and resistant.

Have mercy upon us, Lord.

Our nation is at a crossroads this year;

we look to you to be our strength and shield.

Please give us the guidance to elect one who will honor you

and to respond to the wisdom from above

so that our hope may be renewed and our blessings be treasured.

In God's holy name. Amen.