Pain

As one to whom feeling pain is still quite new, it is hard to write about this subject, but I hope it may bring direction or comfort to those of you who have recognized its existence in your life. Let me begin by quoting scripture, "It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I might learn thy statutes" (Psalm 119:71).

Pain is real. I know this now. I feel as though I am losing my best friend in the whole wide world. I feel lost. This is painful, the kind of painful that makes you sick...not because you have a virus or a stomach bug, but because you have been physically traumatized. For me my pain has been targeted in my heart; it aches with a constant numbness and sometimes feels as though it is scattered within me.

Pain shapes who you are and who will become. I've wanted to hide my pain or run from it at times, but I am starting to understand that it is good for me to recognize it, rather than ignore it. It's better to deal with it now and pursue my walk with the Lord than to harden myself towards it and live a defeated life. "In all these things we are more than conquerors to Him that loved us" (Romans 8:37). There is a kind of strength that comes from dealing with it, rather than shoving it to the side. I've been told, "Whatever doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger." If I'm in the pit, then I know only two things can happen: I can either give in and let go or I can be pulled up and out. I choose to go up (by God's grace).

God can do wonders with a broken heart if you give Him all the pieces. Victor Alfsen