Cup of tea

The past few days have been very difficult. My emotions are as fragile as a piece of blown glass. I wake up in the early hours of the morning, broken; it takes all the energy I posses to make myself a cup of tea and crawl to the chair where my Bible sits eagerly awaiting our morning reunion. Sometimes I cry as I read knowing that God's love is going to see me through this day.

I'm thankful that my appetite has returned. There's comfort in food. It gives me energy to do the things I love: run, teach, sing, help others, and visit with friends.

But what about my expectations, my dreams, my future? Daily comforts could never fulfill these longings.

My world has been turned upside down. Everything I have ever wanted has been put on hold. My expectations to live at peace with my husband and eventually have children. My dream of sharing Jesus with others through the testimony of a godly home. My future with the husband of my youth. All of my expectations are tossed into a sea of confusion as a greater and new desire sprouts and blossoms. I desire to give my life entirely to Jesus. I submit my life and everything I ever wanted and walk in faith!

I have peace living for my Lord. I wake up every day, not knowing what will be accomplished or how my mood will interfere or affect circumstances, then I give the day to God. It's seems simple, I guess, but it's a daily battle. It's been amazing to see what the Lord brings my way. God is good. I don't deserve His love, yet He is so gracious. I submit, Lord, my life is yours. This is my cup of tea.